[[It's Just Me]]

Saturday, August 25

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have i told you how much you mean for me?

probably, U R not the nicest person ever exist..
not even the best lover in the world...
probably U R just only human...
not an angel to everyone...
but surely U R one for me...
a wonderful person,
and somehow i know that i can live by simply knowing that i am loved by U.

probably we were not even the perfect couple...
we fight a lot,
sometimes we even hurt each other ..
but no matter how hard the relationship is going to be,
i prefer fight for it than taking a chance of not having this kind of feelings again.

i really want to say to you what i feel
show every single thing that was here in my heart
telling all the dreams
sharing all the hopes
all the fears
all the pains
bruises and hurts
and all the yearning i always have for you

but then, it was locked here
stuck inside my mouth
die within my lips

so,
can u just kiss me instead?
hopefully u can feel what i feel
understand what words can't really say

(cause i'm just too afraid .. i never like this kind of feeling anyway )

AlexiA...shakened at 8/25/2007 11:04:00 PM

Wednesday, August 22

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Renungkan,
Hayati,
dan
Pahami...

Jika kamu memancing ikan,
Setelah ikan itu terlekat di mata kail,
hendaklah kamu mengambil ikan itu.
Janganlah sesekali kamu lepaskan ia semula ke dalam air begitu saja.
Karena ia akan sakit oleh karena ketajaman mata kailmu,
dan mungkin ia akan menderita selagi ia masih hidup.

Begitulah juga setelah kamu memberi banyak pengharapan kepada seseorang,
Setelah ia mulai menyayangimu hendaklah kamu menjaga hatinya,
Janganlah sesekali kamu meninggalkannya begitu saja.
Karena dia akan terluka oleh kenangan bersamamu
dan mungkin tidak dapat melupakan segalanya selagi dia mengingatmu.

- dhandoe -

AlexiA...shakened at 8/22/2007 08:16:00 PM

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aku baru sadar, ternyata lukaku itu benar-benar parah,
aku baru sadar ketika melihat bekas-bekasnya..
baru sadar itu ketika tiba-tiba aku takut
untuk mencintaimu seperti saat ini..

aku pernah terluka,
yang meskipun ketika luka itu sembuh,
luka itu membuatku semakin tegar
dan semakin bisa melihat kenyataan yang ada.
Sebuah kalimat terngiang di pikiranku, “Jika kamu ingin sembuh, maka kamu harus tega terhadap dirimu sendiri.”
Masalahnya, terkadang kita justru menikmati luka-luka yang ditimbulkan. Be Gees bilang, love is such a beautifull pain.
Bagaimana sakitnya ketika kita mesti menahan untuk tidak mengirim SMS kepadanya.
Bagaimana sakitnya ketika kita mesti menahan diri untuk tidak meneleponnya dan mendengarkan keceriaannya di seberang sana. Bisa mendapatkan keceriaan darinya rasanya sudah lebih dari cukup.
Namun, manusia tak pernah mengenal kata cukup,
tentu saja...

AlexiA...shakened at 8/22/2007 04:49:00 PM

Wednesday, August 15

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Hari ini aku belajar dari kejadian yg terjadi saat ini..
Ga peduli berapa lama lo sama pacar elo,
mo 4 taun, 10 taun, atau bahkan 40 taun sekalipun...
When It's time to move on .. THEY MOVE ON!.
Example...
Man used to woman so much, even cover her debt, moving away from her fam's to be with her lover, He even threw away her future.
But now? In a quick glances of eyes .. The feeling dissapear.
So yes, People change .. and no matter how much they love u before .. you cant ever guarantee that they wont change.
Love changes, people changes...
And I think It's pathetic to crawl over someone who does not want u anymore..
I knew He doesnt have any responsibility over Me anymore..
So you know what is my conclusion? Huh ?
I knew...
No person will purposely have a change of heart..
At the point in time when he loves you, he really loves you..
But when he doesn't love you anymore, he really doesn't love you anymore.
When he loves you, he can't pretend that he doesn't.
Same goes.. when he loves you no more, there's no way he can pretend he loves you.
When a person doesn't love you and wants to leave you..
You must ask yourself if you still love him,
If you also don't love him anymore,
do not keep him just to save your pride.
If you still love him, you should wish him happiness,
and hope that he will be with the one he loves most, not stop him from it.
If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves, it shows you already don't love him, And if you don't love him, what rights do you have to blame him for a change of heart?
Listen beb... I don't BLAME You...
Because I learn ..
Love is not possessive,
If you like the moon, you can't just take it down and put it in your basin,
But the moonlight still shines upon you.
In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person.
Let him become a permanent memory in you life.
If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is.
Love him for his good points, and the bad,
You can't wish for him to become like what you like him to be just because you love him.

If he can't change to become what you like him to be, you don't love him anymore.

When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him,
You only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you. Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criterias. In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end. Being away from each other is a type of test,
If the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat.
Real love will never become hate.

Because U R Keeper of my other half of heart

AlexiA...shakened at 8/15/2007 10:02:00 PM

Tuesday, August 14

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I hate for being so unperfect

AlexiA...shakened at 8/14/2007 11:07:00 PM

Monday, August 13

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Isi Pikiran dan Hatiku malam ini...
*GUBRAX* judulna.. kek cerpen2 jadul aje yak.
Sebenernya sangking nganggurnya jd gini deh..
Mereka-reka,menebak,mengarang sesuatu...
yang ga mungkin aku tanyain ke kamu.
Hu uh... *manggut2 mode ON*
soalna kan memang kamu susah bisa ngomong hal2 beginian.

Seperti apa kamu mencintaiku ?
itu yg sedang aku pikirkan,
karena kamu selalu bilang cintamu sudah mati

Beb...
Awal mula aku mencintaimu,aku bahkan ga tau harus mencintaimu seperti apa.
dunia asing yg aku masuki menyebabkan aku harus meraba-raba dengan mata buta dan telinga tuli.
Sering kali kakiku tersandung karenanya...
karena itu aku perlu digandeng supaya nggak terbentur dan tersandung.
Mungkin kamu pun ngerasa sama...
Atau mungkin sempat kamu menggerutu dalem hati berkata "Duh...kek na mencintai kamu itu kok repot banget ya? aku ngga ngerti caranya".
Mungkin kalo kamu berkata seperti itu aku bakal bilang "mencintai aku memang repot, tapi aku pun belajar mencintai kamu yang juga notabene sama sulitnya loh".

Kalo aku inget2 yang sudah terjadi rasanya pengen nangis sambil tertawa,
well..gak semuanya indah kan? ada kalanya genggaman tangan kita merenggang..
Jujur aku takut..
Aku takut kalo genggaman tangan kita terlepas,aku pengen bilang ke kamu, kalau aku tuh masih bodoh untuk masuk dalam duniamu .. jadi kamu harus extra sabar untuk ngajarin aku jadi pinter..Tapi TOLONG jangan lepasin genggaman tangan kamu sampai kapan juga yah, karena aku takut sendirian...

I Cant promise all the road ahead will be sunny and nice, But I promise that will stay through the storm.

AlexiA...shakened at 8/13/2007 11:26:00 PM

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God
whatever it is ..
please dont turn me into a bitter person.
i dont want to be that kind of person anymore.
at least not now God :(

and wherever it may lead,
please give me strength to face it ..
Always remind me that i am loved,
and i'm worthed to be love

AlexiA...shakened at 8/13/2007 05:57:00 PM

Saturday, August 11

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I did closed the door for "us"
but, the love is still locked up inside
and the key is only in your heart

I never found the way to un-love you
May I cut your chest and
stole the key to my heart?

AlexiA...shakened at 8/11/2007 02:00:00 AM

Thursday, August 9

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bebeh....maafin aku ya...
karena aku gak mengerti kamu....
tapi....
Suatu hari akan kau mengerti tentang aku,
dengan atau tidak adanya keberadaanku

AlexiA...shakened at 8/09/2007 10:22:00 PM

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Whatever Shall i write?

AlexiA...shakened at 8/09/2007 09:56:00 PM

Tuesday, August 7

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kamu ada disini bersamaku ..
tapi dimana hatimu?
jika hanya raga, itu tak pernah cukup untukku sayang

kamu berdiri di sampingku ..
tapi benarkah itu yang kamu inginkan?
mengapa tak kau lepaskan semua kesibukanmu dan diam di pelukku sayang?

..:: Untuk seorang yang menjajikan bahunya untukku ::..

AlexiA...shakened at 8/07/2007 07:19:00 PM