Wednesday, May 12


<
short term resolution for me


Ok .. i'm on the middle of my sane-condition ..
and today, i woke up with good short term resolution that i want to do for my own good sake.
Yupe, suddenly i just think i want to be a better girl ... (ps: i warn you .. DONT LAUGH! lolz)

1. i want to be able to be happy even when i have no one besides me.yupe, gue mau .. kalau kebahagiaan gue ga lagi tergantung sama orang lain.
gue mau gue bisa bahagia .. walaupun gue sendirian dan gue ga punya siapapun untuk cheers me up.
gue mau gue bisa enjoying my day by doing the things i like to do alone.
gue mau terbebas dari segala macam negative thinking, perasaan kesepian, fears of been forsaken .. ataupun perasaan2 tolol semacam dilupakan atau diacuhkan.

2. i want to be a more neat and tidy person.ok, sedikit pengakuan .. i am a messy person.
gue ga akan bilang gue jorok .. tapi gue cukup berantakan. dan jujurnya, gue hidup cukup nyaman di dalam keadaan berantakan. Tapi kayaknya, itu ga acceptable deh kalo it comes to facts that we were here as a social person. So, gue memutuskan untuk belajar lebih rapih.... dimulai dengan meletakan kembali barang2 yang gue ambil pada tempatnya. Yah, at least, walaupun gue lazy to tidy-up things, gue juga ga akan menjadi orang yang messy-up things.

3. I want to take-care of myself a little moreLately, gue banyak melupakan hal-hal yang seharusnya gue lakukan untuk "merawat" diri gue sendiri.
dan kayaknya, its time to do some "repairment" dan mulai lebih fokus ke diri gue sendiri :) dan tentu aja, ini termasuk untuk hidup lebih sehat. makan lebih teratur, tidur lebih berkualitas and having a balance of fun and work times ^^

4. I want to control the fluctuation of my mood.Gue percaya, fluktuasi mood gue yang "aujubilleh" kek gene, menyusahkan banyak orang (bahkan, pacar gue sendir! LOLZ).
Gue bisa suddenly bete, down to the lowest with no acceptable and logic reasons except my own imaginary fears, dan gue belajar bahwa itu ga membuat keadaan lebih baik. Itu hanya membuat gue menjadi orang yang lebih menyebalkan, membuat gue menjadi one pathetic paranoid girl who will get to nowhere except closer to her fears.
Gue percaya juga, dengan gue bisa mewujudkan resolusi no 1 gue, gue harap my mood will be more stable. dan gue akan menjadi the old cheerful me ... :) the old lovable me .. :) (well, im not being a very lovable girl lately, and thx to my honey whom at least still put a lot of patience in dealing wiv me *kisskiss*)

5.Last but not least .. I desperately want to learn to be able to speak carefully.
Ini rada susah, karena gue punya kemampuan khusus untuk menyakiti dengan kata2 gue. Gue bisa being so rude (even when i dont say a rude words) .. gue juga bisa being so bitchy and totally defensive, which sometimes .. hurts the other person.
well .. bahkan saat gue ga mean untuk bersikap menyakiti pun, kadang2 keluar kata2 yang bisa disalah artikan oleh pihak yang mendengar. Gue ga tau bagaimana caranya, tapi gue pengen .. kalau gue bisa lebih menyortir apa yang keluar dari mulut gue, sehingga kata2 yang keluar itu bukan kata2 yang menjatuhkan tapi kata2 yang membangun.

Ok .. buat sebagian orang, mungkin resolusi diatas itu resolusi yang simple ..
tapi buat mereka yang kenal gue personally .. mereka pasti akan bilang that will become a very hard resolution for me ...
but like i have stated at my very first paragraph .. i want to be better .. cause myself deserve a better version of me

AlexiA...shakened at 5/12/2004 08:42:00 PM




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